Tag Archives: funny

More Guts Than Brains

Today represents a significant day for me and Chick #3. One year ago today, we successfully navigated from SW Georgia, over the West Virginian mountains, in and out of tight-fitting spaces, and safely arrived in NW Pennsylvania – all while driving a beastly 26 foot truck and hauling my little VW Beetle. I still remember the knot in my stomach when I picked up the moving truck from the local Home Depot. My mind raced and for a minute, I sat frozen behind the wheel thinking, “How in the Hell am I going to drive this monster truck through the mountains?!” For the first time in my life, I felt fear gripping intimidation and I questioned whether I had the fortitude to actually complete this mission. My brain and gut both called for a white flag. “Throw in the towel. What were you thinking? This is CRAZY!” While my thoughts argued back and forth, I sat silently, taking in the magnitude of the situation before me. And then I slowly turned the key in the ignition.

I’ve always been a jump with both feet kind of person and that philosophy helped guide me from point A to point Z. Without it, I’m certain I would have jumped ship right after getting the truck and tow stuck in the middle of the dead of night in an almost impossible situation that took nearly an hour to maneuver. And if it not that night, then most definitely the next morning when it was quite evident that monster trucks can not make 90 degree turns while clearing football out-of-towners who have their butt end’s sticking too far out of their parking space. That little morning escapade became the spectator sport of the day with all eyes on me as I backed and pulled, backed and pulled, backed and pulled for about 45 minutes so as not to damage the unclaimed SUV blocking my exit. Seriously. The owner never did show face and yet against all odds and with a little perseverance, I snaked that 26 footer and tow between the unmanned SUV and dumpster completely unscathed. Hey mister guy pretending to rummage through your trunk, thank you for giving me the thumbs -up, you got this encouragement I needed at just the right time.

Yes. I received the quick-learner permit on how to unstuck the biggest ride I’ve ever driven and after the third mishap, I’d say I’m a pro at larger than life Houdini escape tricks. But that wasn’t the worst part of the trek. Nor were the blind, idiot drivers. Hellooo! Very HUGE and very, VERY YELLOW wall on wheels driving here!! Nope. None of that made me call it quits but tackling windy, mountain highways with a big-butt truck almost did me in. I’ve driven that route many times and in a little beetle bug, hugging the twists and turns is amateur play. I love the roller coaster ride! But, cruisin’ the highway in a titanic, yellow submarine is anything but amateur. That feat requires serious mad skills. Needless to say, three, stomach-ulcerated and white-knuckled hen clawed days later, I successfully docked that beast like a boss in my new front yard.

And so here we are 365 days later; laughing about an adventure that was never on my bucket list of things to accomplish. Would I choose to repeat that trip? Maybe. But Am I happy I did it? Absolutely!

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Takes a Secure Woman

Today’s message: Take time to laugh … at yourself.

Laughing is good. No. It’s GREAT! Laughter heals. Laughter builds relationships. Laughter tears down walls. Laughter unites. And often, it’s so easy to laugh at or with other people but yet so difficult to laugh at ourselves. Why is that? Does it make us appear weak? Are we that insecure that we can’t laugh at our own foibles? Does it makes us vulnerable? I never quite understood that. Laugh at your best bud crashing into the wall or face planting the floor but get fire breathing pissed off if it were to happen to you. Just doesn’t make sense to me and honestly, I get a real kick out of my own ridiculousness. Therefore, laughing at myself is a daily must.

Here’s a special treat for you. I actually sent this via text to Chick #1 because I felt compelled to share my hilarious misfortune with her so that she might also partake in the laughter.

Sometime in November 2013, I was digging around in the itty bitty, slam packed with boxes attic space for the Autumn decorations. Of course, nothing was within reach. So that meant I had to cautiously navigate through the clutter, broken floor planks, and comb through the stock piled boxes for the few I actually needed.  The attic isn’t a full sized walking attic, either. It’s basically a crawl space. I mean, you can hump over like a hunchback and walk down the center line but anything off to the sides, and you really should be on your knees so that you don’t cause some blunt force trauma to the ol’ noggin’ by bashing it up against a pretty stout cross beam. No, I didn’t knock myself silly. I did something even funnier. You see, hanging from a beam was some type of dangling cord that kept brushing on my neck….and….

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And there you have it. It takes a secure women to admit that she had the pee scared right out of her. It takes an even more secure woman to laugh at her own absurdity… and now you can laugh, too!

~ SE

Pun Intended

It’s only TUESDAY! It’s ONLY Tuesday! UGGGHHH!

It’s the last week before Christmas break and it’s only TUESDAY! Dear sweet baby Jesus, please let’s just get through the rest of this craptastic and insane week without getting alcohol poisoning. <as I eagerly eye my last bottle of red wine>

Today seriously felt like a sick and twisted school version of a Groundhog’s Day joke. The movie that is. You know the one. Where Bill Murray repeats the same day over…and…over…and…over…again. Well, we’re stuck in a nightmarish school loop otherwise know as the HELL before Christmas! The kids are bonkers. Teachers are snarky. And the few of us who normally laugh at the insanity of school life, have morphed into great green Grinches.  Ba humbug and all that jazz! … and it’s ONLY Tuesday!  <sigh>  I’m so looking forward to 2 full weeks of no lunch and car pick up DUTY! ‘Cause duty is really some stinky dodo!

So, I made it. Survived another day. 3 more to go. And discovered, as I was leaving, a teacher who, like myself, needed some sort of LOL reprieve from the anything but tedium day we had all experienced. And this is what I found her watching…

Now that’s some funny $hit!