Category Archives: Thought Provoking

The Great Escape

drive

A week ago I just got in the car, gassed up, and left town. I had no idea where I was going. I had no plans. I had no one telling me to stay or question my motives. But what I did have was this overwhelming and driving need for something unplanned.

So, I packed a weekend bag, finger foods, a case of water, phone charger, and a few camping supplies (just in case I decided to “rough it”). You see, I may have been on the verge of a momentary mid-life crisis, but hey – I’m not lacking in cognitive fore planning even if this was a spontaneous, fly by the seat of your pants escape.

And there you have it. Me, my thoughts, and my beetle hit the road heading north. At first, I considered making the trek to the beach. Sand in my toes. Salt breeze kisses on my skin. Sun on my…”WAIT! What the hell are you thinking?! SUN? Absolutely NOT!” My recently 2nd degree blistered and burned legs screamed at me making me reconsider that weekend option and thus the idea to head north…to parts unknown.

I spent the early noonish hours traversing ‘cross the Georgian countryside. Look at a Georgia map and you’ll get the feeling that moonshine had a lot to do with off the beaten trail routes ’cause not a single road leads straight any place. Needless to say, the drive was peaceful, serene, and as I took in the landscape and scenery, my thoughts bounced from this, that, and the other. I still had no idea where I was headed. I just knew that I wasn’t really in a city mood and since my legs strongly opposed the sunny beach idea, I figured I’d just continue driving until I ended up some place interesting. Interesting, hu? The irony is finally setting my sights on Bristol, TN for a surprise visit to my sister (less than 2 hours away) only to find that she was literally moving back to Florida that same night. Haha! No joking. True story. You see – that little asshole, Murphy and I have been at odds for years and whenever he feels neglected, this is the shit he pulls. Well, Murphy – I’ve got news for you. Sister or no, I’m not turning around. And I didn’t. And Murphy got left in my beetle dust.

My final destination? I ended up in The Great Smokey Mountains. The drive was insane but the sights were beyond beautiful. I needed this drive. I needed to feel free and to sort things out in my head. I needed to recognize that there’s still so much out there that I haven’t explored and not just physical explorations but also personal ones. And more importantly, I needed the time to refresh and renew my personal drive. To step out from the mask of complacency and really take an introspective look at my life and where I want to be. I came to the understanding that we all make mistakes but life is ultimately what we make of it. It’s ok to go off road and take in the sights along the way but eventually, even if it’s the long way, find a way to stay driven towards your goals.

Moral: Sometimes when life has you feeling boxed in…claustrophobic…you need an unplanned, great escape in order to put it all back into perspective.

Drive

Weekly Photo Challenge: Connected

When I saw this topic, I immediately envisioned a variety of ideas that could represent this theme.

We’re connected to one another via technology, media, family, friends, and community. We’re also connected to places through modes of transportation and physical connectors, such as bridges. And a person can feel connected through music, song, books, and arts. There’s literally a million ways people or things are connected.

After pondering the idea, I wanted to share what I feel is one of the strongest connections we should have to one another because without it, we wouldn’t have the opportunity to connect in other ways.   ~SE

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Connected

Lunch Box Notes

Written 1/28/2015

Lunch box notes or ANY kind of sweet note for that matter, are always a nice “you’re special to me” way to make someone smile. It’s a simple gesture often taken for granted and yet, one that can bring a world of smiles to someone who might be having a bad day.

Coincidentally, I had the same conversation with a man friend telling him how it makes me feel good to send flirty, good morning/ good night messages. It even feels good to send a message that just says you’re thinking about the other person or a joke to make them laugh because, again – you never know what kind of day they are having. Receiving a “note” lets that person know they are cared about and it can change a sour mood into a more pleasant one.

Today, I received an, “I love you & have a good day” lunch box note from chick #3. One simple note made my day and while I sat there eating my lunch, taking a much needed break from all the information overload, I realized there was no way she know I was stressed and on the brink of tears and I thought – I done good with this kid!

Chapters & Books

Written 1/27/2015

Wouldn’t it be an experience to go back and read the Chapters of your life? I’m certain some chapters would be difficult to re-experience while others would fill you with joy again. How many of these chapters does it take to fill your book? Or are they different compilations of books in one enormous book? I feel that significant events or changes constitute as a new book in itself.

Therefore; today I cracked open a freshly bound, but unwritten New Book in this crazy life of mine. After 28 years of working in, around, and with children, I’ve moved on to something foreign to me – a career field that does not involve children. Whoa! Right?! This was a very difficult decision to make but in the end, paying bills, having a place to live, and having food on the table won the argument. When you weigh the pros and cons, sometimes you have to give up something you love in order to survive. Of those 28 years, 15 of them were spent as some sort of a manager in the education industry. Whether it was as a teacher’s trainer, director of a program, managing a single location, or assisting on a larger scale with the facility in general, I’ve always been, for the most part in the “kid” and “education” business. So, when it came down to it, the experiences I’ve gained through management – more specifically, administrative tasks – have opened a door, providing me an opportunity that my family so desperately needed.

I’m out of my element with the “product” because kids and sheet metal fabrication have nothing to do with one another but like any new experience, it takes time and patience to learn the new language and lingo. This week was tough. I have the skills and the ability to do the work, but being out of practice makes me feel slow. There’s also a ton of information that I’m learning how to mentally and administratively process. By the end of the day, my head was spinning from all the information but I know this is the right things to do.

I may not walk into a school every day, hug a student, or chat with another educator about the pros and cons of public education, curriculum differences, or how to make every moment a teachable moment but my heart and actions will always be those of a teacher because I believe in education.

This new book is a genre I’m unfamiliar with and honestly, it scares the Hell out of me. But, since I’ve cracked it open, I might as well sit for a spell, dig in, and see where the story takes me.

Here’s to NEW BOOKS!

I Resolve to…

Ok – so this isn’t like one of those regular New Year’s resolutions. You know the ones. The same ol’ boring resolutions most people make year in and year out but never truly make a solid commitment to seeing them through. Weight loss. Healthy eating. Regular exercise. New job. Relationship status. Be Happy. … and on and on. Nope. That’s not me. I have a different vision for myself this year. Purging. Hu? Yes. Purging! You see, I’ve always kept journals – and Heaven forbid if anyone should ever actually READ them! Oh boy! All my dirty little secrets, confessions, hurts, desires, new and lost loves, insecurities, dreams, and fears are all neatly handwritten and tucked away from prying eyes. These books contain the building blocks of me and are a foundation for who I’ve become in this crazy world as an independent women and mother. They’re raw. They’re detailed. And just as the eyes are a looking glass to the depths of your soul, my journals are a door to my very heart and being. Why did I begin writing? It’s always been a form of therapy for me. Helps me sort through the muckety muck muck that clogs the cogs in my brain and also allows me to remain politically correct by restricting what actually comes out of my mouth. While it’s relieving to actually say what’s on your mind, it isn’t always prudent. Therefore, pen and paper are silent, non judging friends who allow me to be myself. I was 17 when I took to writing. It was a way for me to face years of verbal abuse and hostility without actually “losing it”. Later, my writings traversed far and wide from my marriage, living in Japan, divorce, relationships, children, family, and life in general.

A friend once referred to my journals as “Bitch Books”. At the time, I interpreted that in a very derogative manner and was insulted by the mere suggestion that I was a bitch. I am. I accept it but seriously?! It was years later, that I finally understood his reference was to what I was writing about – my bitches, my complaints, my I’m sick to death of the crap – in my books and to this day, I still fondly think of them as my Bitch Books. Thanks, John for that!

So my point with all this is simply that writing in my Bitch Books is a way to purge in a non public forum. But without joining those books to this blog, I’m only revealing half of myself. It’s actually a pain for myself because when I have this dire need to write, I find myself checking for inappropriate content – which would be most of the time. Just sayin’.  And in most cases, I refrain from sharing the dark side because there really aren’t any cookies waiting there for you.

My resolution is this: Whether it be down right hysterical, make you wet your pants funny blogging or dark, and sometimes very sad blogging, my goal is to purge the many things I have held on to or continue to bury in my life. Having been inspired by a fellow blogger, I resolve to accept who I am… one blog at a time.

~ SE

The Christmas Can Can

I absolutely love the holidays…the crisp, invigorating weather, the delicious aromas, the fanciful lights and displays…even the melodious holiday music is a must. It’s cheerful and much like a young child, I am always brimming with excitement during this time of year. I’m not; however, one of those Christmas obsessed individuals who begins creeping in a bit of Christmas tidings on Halloween or even as early as Thanksgiving. But – the day after Thanksgiving is fair game. The Autumn décor is promptly boxed and replacing it in record time; wintery garland, red bows, handmade wreaths, white bright lights, and tons of tastefully selected knick knacky items that complete the Holiday ambiance. Every item has its place. And once complete, I love sitting back, sipping on spiced cinnamon cider, and basking in the seasonal radiance. Ahhh.

What I can do without are those who wholeheartedly dislike the holiday shopping crowds. I am certainly not a person who enjoys shopping on any regular day but even I know how to behave during the expected last minute shopping rush. So, to the Mister who barked off that he “just loves how people just effing stand around” while rudely pushing past my line of shoppers unloading their carts, I say this – Lighten up!

Holiday Blues

It’s raining outside and expected to continue up until Christmas. I really love the cooler Autumn and Winter weather but absolutely hate the week long dreariness. Anything longer than 3 days, and gray skies begin to weigh heavily on my heart.

So what’s a girl to do? I have the next 2 weeks off from work and absolutely nothing planned. No where to go. No one to see. Just me and Chicks #2 and #3.

I miss the Holiday festivities. Parties. Driving around looking at the lights. Music. Family. Cooking for more than 3 people. Friends. Traditions. Laughter. Even getting dressed up in heels and a pretty outfit.

Things change. We all change. Family traditions change. What was once valued, morphs into what’s important to someone else.  Schedules get in the way. New relationships create new traditions. Commitments are refocused. Reestablished. Realigned.

…and it all saddens my heart.