All posts by Sheila

I think the best way to get to know me is through reading my posts and seeing my life through the pictures I love to take. I'm a smart ass, laughter loving fool who also has a deep, serious side. I try to see the humor in life's ironies, take time to seize every moment, and simply enjoy the simple things that make me happy. This blog...and several others I have...is a way for me to share the hilariousness that is my life. Feel free to comment and like posts but please keep snarky remarks to yourself. Enjoy!

Look to the Horizon

Camera Shy

I walked into the kitchen and found this and by the time she was done pounding on Alex’s door, I was in tears from laughing so hard! You ask yourself “why”? Simple. Because she can.

~ SE

A Picture is Worth a 1,000 Words

This picture always reminds me of just how goofy we are when we’re all together.  We each bring our own kind of humor to the table and yet we all share the same goofy gene. You know the one. The one that says you don’t care what other people think when you wear that neon pink squid hat. The same gene that also lets you break out in your own busta rhyme dance beat in the middle of the grocery aisle. Our moves might be different but we still get the laughs and nothing says family more than laughter and good times.

~ SE

Skink Versus Skank

skink

Reposted from The W(H)INE Monologue

Circa 2010
Let’s face it. The conversations in my house are anything but normal. When one of your children has been Blessed by both parents’ smart ass and witty nature, it is a true recipe for trouble against the younger siblings who aren’t nearly as quick witted or as linguistically clever as she. Normally, she and I are on the same team; but on occasion, she actually thinks she can out best me.

It was early spring and we had just moved from a crappy little apartment into a spacious house. Being that it was cool outside, the windows were open, along with the back sliding door and we were all piled into the kitchen, talking and laughing, while preparing dinner. Nothing unusual, right?
Next thing I remember is Liv pressed up against the screen door, yelling, “LOOK! LOOK! It’s one of those poisonous SKANKS!” While everyone roars with laughter and the girls rib shank each other for a better view of the slinking purple-y, black and blue ground dweller sunning on the back patio, I nonchalantly utter , “Liv, that’s a SKINK, not a skank” (pause – and under my breath) “Although I suppose it could be a skanky skink”. It’s at this point I realize the laughing has subsided into snickering and the culprits, Allie and Kass, are doing their own retile-y version of the skink, as they slowly back away from the question asker. I look up and shake my head at them because I know the inevitable is about to occur… and sure enough, as the child stands staring at the creature through the web messed screen, “Mom, what does skank mean?” Kass falls to the floor, doubled over and convulsing from a fit of laughter taking over her body. Allie, smart ass that she is, raises an eyebrow and smirkingly asks, “Yes, mom. What IS a skank?” As she seeks safety on the other side of the kitchen, I glare at her. Not missing a beat and certainly not wanting to ensure in a skanky skink conversation with the 10 year old, I provide a seemingly innocent textbook definition answer to the inquisitive child, “A skank is an unclean girl.” Whew! I signal my short lived triumph as I righteously stick my tongue out at my mini-me instigator. She’s still snickering. Kass is still rolling and Liv? Well, Liv turns to me, holding out her filthy clothing, and questions, “You mean like me?”

Moral: Never confuse a skink for a skank.

Fake Pie

Fake Pie

This year’s Thanksgiving was spent with just me and two of the three chicks. We had a great week off from school just spending time with each other and doing as we always do – making each other laugh!  (Videos to come – I promise!)

Anyway, this year I decided I was going to take the plunge and actually bake a REAL pie! Those who know me, know I LOVE ❤ ❤ ❤ to COOK!  I’m surprised I’m not as monstrous as a hippo and honestly think I actually was one in a previous life. Yes, I LOVE to cook. But, I’m not a fan of baking. Go figure. I can make a meal out of virtually nothing but make candy, fudge, even cookies…and I either cook everything too long or not long enough. Chick #1 is the ultimate Queen baker from scratch and she didn’t get it from me. Baking just isn’t the same as making a meal. There’s too many variables and I’m just too impatient. Who has time to make sure the sugar water boils for exactly X minutes and reaches Y temperature?! Well, guess that explains why my fudge never sets – but, hey – gooey fudge is still pretty yummy!

So, this year – I thought to myself – Self, I really want a mincemeat pie. And after several pre Thanksgiving shopping trips, I gave in to the urge. I bought the generic Great Value Roll Out pie crust and a jar of None Such mincemeat pie filling. How hard could it be, right? So hard, I got cold feet and put the ingredients away for another week until I got the courage – more like an irrational craving for mincemeat – to make the damn pie!

I grabbed my new and unused pie pan, pie crusts, jar of mincemeat, and an egg. And much to my surprise, the entire process went relatively well – that is, AFTER the pie crust softened enough that I could roll it out.

Directions: Push the 1st pie crust into the bottom of the pan, dump the filling on top of that, cover the pie with the 2nd crust, seal and pinch around the edges, slit the top, brush entire top crust with an egg yolk, cover the edges of the crust with aluminum foil, and slide the pie into the oven. Oh – and don’t forget to preheat the oven.

Call me neurotic, but I didn’t want that baby to burn. So I kept a hawk eye on it and every now and then, coated a little more egg yolk over the top.  Much to my surprise, the pie was PERFECT both inside and out! So perfect the Chicks kept calling it FAKE Pie. And you know what? That FAKE pie sat on my FAKE plate and was delicious while I ate it with my FAKE fork. YUM!

mincemeat piecrust

Introducing the Comedic Crew

Welcome to Three White Chicks and a Hen!

HEN: Me! Mom! She-Ra Cockroach Slayer! Supreme Goddess of Wit, Sarcasm, and just plain – Warped & Stupid Humor.

Chick #1: Allie-A-Bobwa! Owee! The Big AL! Smart Ass Queen! Mini Me Supreme Goddess!

Chick #2: Sass-A-Frass! Kass! Sassy! Drama Jokester Queen Extraordinaire! Goofy Goony!

Chick #3: Liv! Livy Bug! Ollie! The Zany Funny Girl! Purveyor of Randomness! World Renowned Goofball!

That’s us and we never miss a moment where we can cut up, crack up, and double over from laughter ~

This blog came about because over the years, I have used Facebook as a means of posting the many humorous moments in our lives. Nothing is sacred in our home because anything from fearless performances to the crazy things these girls say has been shared with the world. I look at it like this. In a world where there are so many dark and ugly monsters, laughter is the one thing that can brighten the blackest of moods, clear the grayest of skies, provide a single moment of clarity, and bring joy to your soul. Laughter for me helps relieve the chronic stress of everyday life. I’m at my best when I can laugh and these girls help me do that everyday! Together, we are the 4 Amigos, the 4 Musketeers, and the 4 Stooges! We are Three White Chicks and a Hen!

~ SE