I’m dedicating this section to the utterly stupid and asinine drivers whose sole purpose in life is to drive like a complete and total moron. If that’s you…the shoe might just need to kick you squarely on the backside…of your head!
Today’s rant. I can spin this one of two ways. Following simple road signs or Beetle envy. Hmmm. I think I’ll stick to ignorantly ignoring road signs because on these Georgian roads, everyone has Beetle envy. That’s right. Envy the Beetle! Bwahahaha! <evil laugh>
Road signs. They’re there for a reason. Read them. And freakin’ don’t act like a narcissistic dumb ass who’s not obligated to pay attention nor abide by road rules.
Every morning, I pass through an intersection that merges immediately just through the light. It’s posted. It’s visible and anyone with decent eyesight can see that the left lane completely vanishes because, like I said…it merges IMMEDIATELY through the light. Duh. What makes it worse is that this is a town literally in the middle of nowhere. No one just passes through this neck of the woods and if they are, they’re a commuter and fully aware of the merging lane.
This morning, just like any other, I’m stopped at the dreaded light and of course, the guy behind me switches to the vacant but merging, left lane. It chapped my ass immediately and mostly because I can see this macho country truck driver slowly creeping forward. Seriously? I’m in a Beetle! It really isn’t necessary to prove you have honkin’ truck kahunas just so you can zip past me and squeeze me out on the road. Oooooo! Let me bow down to your truck-holiness. Idiot.
So. There we were. Me – chapped ass. Him – gas tapping and sizing me up. I saw him. He saw me. The light switched green and I was all like, “Eat my Beetle dust, a$$hole!” Smiling sweetly to myself, I floored it and boot scoot boogied right past that gas guzzling buffoon. Needless to say, he was in shock and hopefully a little humbled, too.
That’s right! Don’t mess with this Beetle ’cause she’ll run your derriere right over!